Dear Lola- 12 Months

Dear Lola,

        The last 12 months have flown by. I can't believe that your were born just a year ago, and now here you are with your spunky little personality just running around the room. In a lot of ways I feel like this has been the biggest growing year for me too. I was born on November 4th, 1989 but a different kind of me was born on November 4th, 2012. The me who spends so much time and energy caring for you not just because I'm a mom and that's what moms do, but because I love you with my whole heart. My life has changed. Believe it or not, that wasn't easy for me to accept in the beginning but now I wouldn't want it any other way. I love being your mom. As for you you've grown from a tiny 6 lbs 12 ounces and 18 inches long to a little child of 21 lbs 7 oz (58%) and 30 inches tall (80%.) 12 inches of height in 12 months, impressive! You're wearing 12-18 month clothes and size 5 shoes.
        Early this month you started sprouting new teeth. Three in a matter of days, for a total of seven teeth! I can only suppose, but I think because of this you decided to stop nursing. You just quit and were NOT interested anymore. I can't even describe how heartbreaking this was for me. Those last few months nursing became something I really cherished. It was our snuggle time. I tried absolutely everything I could think of to convince you to continue, all the while pumping and giving you milk in a cup. I cried many times when you refused to nurse. I was exhausted and depressed. After a few weeks I finally had to accept it. I pumped until your first birthday. When I feel sad about it, I think of the beautiful moments we shared. I try to feel proud that we made it this far, because it was both a sacrifice and a gift that I gave to you. Breastfeeding was hard in the beginning, but I loved it too much to think of quitting. The funny (sad?) thing about it all is you didn't seem upset about the teething or the weaning.
        You like to "dance." When you hear music you bob up and down. It's really cute. Yesterday we were at grandma and grandpa's house. You wandered into the living room on your own and started playing the piano and "singing" in a high pitched voice and it made me smile. You are learning and growing every day and becoming quite opinionated too. We had a really good birthday. I decorated the house with balloons, streamers, and pictures of us. I made you a little banana cake which you had fun digging into. It felt really special. All day I told you, "It's our birthday!!" You didn't seem to care, but I loved it. I'm looking forward to many more birthdays with you.

Love you sweetheart,
Mom